Splash No. 130 - Love of Wisdom
Love of Wisdom
Time has lost its meaning and somehow a year and a half has passed since I graduated college. I’m spending December at home, in the same bed that I spent every winter break throughout college, feeling like I could be a few weeks away from another semester of classes on digital media and film and computer science and design. If only.
Lately, I’ve realized that I miss more than my friends and the local Taco Bell from college. In my day-to-day, I’ve been yearning for something to fill the intellectual void, as my skills at reading academic papers and discussing new topics and ideas have atrophied. Work offers intellectual stimulation, yet tends to be focused on a very narrow segment of thought, often focusing on what I already have learned. As a student, I consumed so much information and outputted so many papers, videos, projects, and beyond!
I won’t act like I was a perfect student. I didn’t do every reading and often pushed my academic responsibilities to the back-burner in favor of internship and job searches, but I miss the nature of college — with its inherent purpose to facilitate learning, thought, and growth. At the same time, my college experience always left me wanting something more. The tech school experience made it hard to live the Harry Potter-esque aesthetic of my childhood dreams but also focused squarely on technology. I couldn’t bring myself to take the Science Fiction minor offered in lieu of an English minor, and the only philosophy class I took ended up being a “philosophy of technology class.”
And so, I’ve begun filling in the gaps where my college curriculum didn’t line up with my interests, forming my own structures for learning. My simulated English minor consists of my book club and . The syllabus is nonexistent and the professor never shows up to class, but hey, it’s better than nothing. As I seek to understand the world around me, I study philosophy piecemeal, through conversations with people I meet, from events and magazines, books and talks, podcasts and essays. I seek to understand people and continue to try and form communities — to chat with, to think with, to collaborate with. These communities offer their own learnings, as we bring together our ideas and our self-made curricula.
When my deep desire to learn first began to re-emerge, I started to wonder why I wanted to learn these random topics. What was the point? It’s perfectly possible that I won’t make any career gains by understanding Baudrillard or having read Beowulf. I could continue to pass through life, consuming media passively, and maintain the same knowledge, as I work for the rest of my life.
I found my answer when I uncovered the origin of the word “philosophy.” In Greek, the word literally means “love of wisdom.” Perhaps it’s always been that simple. I just love to learn. I haven’t figured out why I love to learn and don’t have a purpose for it, but I’m happy to simply accept that I harbor a love for knowledge and wisdom, and all that accompanies it. Part of it is the egoistic feeling of superiority of knowing the answer to a Jeopardy! question or a reference in a book or novel, but there’s something beyond that — an illumination of the dark ambiguity that defines all of life itself. That light and the joy it inspires suggest glorious worlds to be discovered within our own. From learning comes curiosity! And gratitude! And awe!
I’ve been out of college for a year and a half and I still have a lot to learn. I’ve only begun my education and can barely fathom the breadth of things that I want to know more about. But I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Drops of the Week
PLAYLIST - a dark academia playlist to read to - I'm obsessed with the dark academia aesthetic and this lovely playlist captures it perfectly. I also wrote this letter while listening to it! (spotify version)
ARTICLE - "The Downward Spiral: Centrist Dad Ouroboros" by Dean Kissick - this is a bizarre piece summarizing the current state of the world and I had a great time.
FILM - Clue - a weird classic of sorts. I wonder what other board game-inspired movies could look like.
The new president may not be a white supremacist, but there's still work to be done. With each day, we move closer to a more equitable world. Reminders:
Ways you can help
Anti-racism resources
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Knowledgeably,
Nikhil