Splash No. 68
Shy Boy
You’ll find yourself in situations where you lose all ability to form coherent sentences or thoughts at all. And I don’t mean situations that are uncommon or particularly terrifying, just ones that you make you feel like you were wired incorrectly. While everyone else can handle meeting new people or talking to adults with ease, you’ll struggle and need a lot of time around people before you can get your brain to coherently form sentences in front of them. Even when the words come, the sound might not, as your vocal cords will decide not to cooperate and you will decide that maybe what you have to say doesn’t really need to be said. That’s how it’s like when you’re shy.
You’ll be envious of everyone who can just talk to people naturally. Sure, you’re pretty good at being alone since books and video games can fill your attention, but you'd still like to make friends, to find a Patrick to your Spongebob. It’ll be tough but you’ll slowly start to build the skills that seem to come naturally to others: how to speak loudly, how to introduce yourself with confidence, how to make eye contact. With each passing year, with each conversation with a friend that comes and goes, you’ll get closer to being like all of the outgoing people whose lives seem to teem with companionship and joy.
It’ll take years. In elementary school, you’ll be adopted by a friendly extrovert who will connect you with his friends for many years to come. That will take you through middle school and much of high school. You’ll be able to lean on technology to help you connect with people in ways that your shyness would’ve prevented you in the past. Your voice can’t freeze up through a screen. You don’t need to make eye contact when you’re talking in text. People will actually care about what you have to say, to learn about what you care about and what makes you, you. You’ll start to realize that maybe you have something to offer.
In college, you might have trouble making friends at first. But that’s normal and you’ll begin to see a cycle of friends coming and going. You’ll cry about all of the people who leave after they used to mean so much to you and you’ll learn to accept it. It will take time and a summer alone in a strange city, but you’ll learn to make friends, love them and cherish them. You, for the first time in your life, will feel comfortable in your social life. You’ll be able to look back at your life so far and smile about how much progress you made, how close you feel to those that matter to you, how you can walk up to a stranger and introduce yourself confidently.
This began as an essay about communication and turned into a letter to myself about my relationship with my social life and shyness. I was hoping to mix things up this week and it worked out!
Drops of the Week
where I *drop* recommendations of cool things this week
Article
“The Story Behind the Play That’s Defined the 2018 NFL Season” by Robert Mays - I love football and the Rams are currently showing off a historically good offense. This article does a great job at breaking down the history and usage of the play that lives at the center of it. Super great read filled with some solid film breakdowns.
Book
The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin - I’ve been meaning to read Baldwin forever since he’s considered one of the greatest writers of his generation. I’ve never really read books of essays despite that’s technically the only thing I write, and reading Baldwins’ make me regret the decision. His work is incredible, and he has an incredible ability to make any statement sound poetic and gorgeous. I can’t get enough.
Playlist
october 18 - I listened to a lot of new music this week, especially during my sojourns into the electronic genres that I used to love so much in high school. I really love this playlist, but the few pop punk songs on it definitely stand out.
Thanks so much for reading! If you have any comments/concerns or fan/hate mail for me, you know how to reach me (links below).
Love,
Nikhil