Splash No. 163 - Invisible Forces

Invisible Forces

For my birthday, a close friend gifted me a reading by an astrologer based in India, to tell me about my life, now and going forward based on the placement of the planets and the stars, relative positions that write my reality. He told me of things I knew, that my stomach was finicky and that I didn’t work in the state I was born. He told me new things, that I would have a long life and the placement of Jupiter in my chart meant that revealed that my grandparents were from Punjab. He offered suggestions, telling me that certain months would be good for a new job, a new city. And he left me with the statement that creativity was meant to be the main focus of my life, with spiritual practice being second. 

It was a dizzying realization to consider the possibility that the way I spent my time wasn’t just my personal whim, but was potentially predestined by some larger invisible force, guiding me towards what I hold most dear. I’ve always believed in predestination, but I never thought that I would find external examples of it at play. I don’t know enough about anything to say how true astrology may or may not be, but I’m confident that there’s plenty in the world that science cannot yet explain, and may not ever be able to explain. Instead, I feel compelled to appreciate the patterns in life, to surrender to the invisible forces.

Earlier today, I remembered and looked up a video that I used to love in high school out of the blue. I had no idea where the thought came from until I realized I had been snacking on a Gala apple, the fruit my mother sliced for me daily for all four years of high school. My brain continued the patterns that it knew, even six or seven years later, even twenty-four or twenty-five thousand miles away. Or maybe I was compelled by an invisible force, my mother’s love manifested across mountains and valleys and rivers and plains, to remind me of who I was and who I continue to be; not so different after all. I haven’t wandered too far after all.

When thinking about creativity, and how it might have been compelled by the celestial bodies or something beyond, I think about Hilton Als’s quote, “Isn’t it a miracle that we’ve ended up as ourselves? I think writing takes you where you need to go and that my new writing is leading me.” And I fully agree — I feel deeply grateful of all the conditions in place that enabled me to become who I am, and all the words that I’ve written that have led me to this place where I am today. Would I be who I was without my biggest mistakes and biggest risks? Would I continue to thrive if I had made all the “right” choices? Perhaps, but not as the being I am now. And who would I be without the thousands of words that I’ve written? Even now, these words that I write guide me, turn my confusion and my crises into something new, turn obstacles into a path. I celebrate each of them.

Ram Dass said, “Your entire life is a curriculum. Everything you've got on your plate is where the stuff for your enlightenment is. It’s breathtaking when you see the beauty of this design.” In this way, my spiritual life continues like the astrologer said — in my creative practice, in my daily life. I’ll find the opportunities to continue to grow. I’ll face the challenges of life: challenges to my ability to love, challenges to my ability to stay soft, to stay open, to stay standing. I’ll embrace the pain and the struggles that it might entail, that the people in my life may bring — to find beauty in it all, to find the invisible love and soul that underlies everything. 

Drops of the Week
 

• ALBUM - Vulture Prince by Arooj Aftab - gorgeous album that transcends genres, combining South Asian classical music with classical and electronic music. 

• ARTICLE - "Hilton Als, The Art of the Essay No. 3" by Lisa Cohen - Hilton Als has always been an impressive wordsmith, but it's lovely to hear him talk about his past, the reverence with which he describes his late mother. I feel like we should apply such reverence to the living as well.

• POEM - "Always Bring a Pencil" by Naomi Shihab Nye - we could all use some more room to move around.

With each day, we can move closer to a more equitable world. Reminders:
 

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Visibly,
Nikhil